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That dirty old man!

I visited my 97 year-old great aunt again for dinner last night. 

As we spent 10 minutes walking out of the dining room with her walker, we eventually passed this old man who had been eying her the entire night. 

He started the conversation with my great aunt right off the bat with "Since my wife just left the table I can now say this: if I were 50 years younger and so were you.... Or better yet, if I was 20 and you were 17, then I would come knocking at your door." 

"What?" my confused aunt asked.

The nearby nurse replied, "He says you're VERY kind." 

That dirty old man! 

Worth the Words

"A being breathing thoughtful breath,

A traveler between life and death."

Going

I've been asked "So what are your plans for after college?" for the 72nd time as of today. 

I don't even know 72 people, yet alone I haven't spoken to more than 20 people within the past two weeks including the two customer service agents I called today. 

I need to give myself a title, coin a phrase, something obscure but not questionable. Something catchy. 

Something other than: I'm going to use my bilingual skill in some form in some type of business because I majored in Business and Spanish. 

And something other than the process of elimination. You can cross doctor, web designer, and serial killer* off your list of "acceptable professions." 

*serial killing is considered as an acceptable profession because its method is based on most company mottos, and it employs tact

I also don't need it to sound too new-age. 

I am Katie. My profession is. I am a. And I do. 

I conducted a social experiment on a few Argentines I met while speaking/"studying/"learning Spanish in Argentina. Inebitably, whenever I introduced myself as a student, I was always asked what I was studying. This baffled me for some reason, as it was quite clear to me that even though I could have been studying an actual profession to which others might study abroad, it would seem illogical that they wouldn't also simultaneously study Spanish. As it was, I was there purely for Spanish - to take random classes in Spanish, to live with a family, to do an internship with a local business, basically to survive - in the middle of the night on a weekend downtown finding a taxi, buying pears at the neighborhood fruit stand, giving speeches in Spanish without notecards in actual classes- on their language. 

I grew so weary of the "oh, of course you are here to learn Spanish" response that I began replying, "I'm a writer." The story unfolds right there, can't you see it! I'm already interesting. Others have succeeded off of this profession, and I am guaranteed that I will too. *As it is, I wouldn't be an "attempted murderer" because that reduces my success rate. 

What am I going to do after I graduate? 

What am I going to pre-label my success to be? 

Where am I going?

Well, I'm going. Isn't that more mysterious, more momentous, more monumentous! 

Cinturón

The moment I thought all of my songs comprised the word "corazón," they didn't. I've never heard the word "cinturón" so many times in one car ride's worth of radio time. 

Looks like I'll be sticking my mano in your cinturón next time we go for a drive..... car safety, guys. 

I'm not an absolute prick.

On a positive note: I haven't gotten a single 7-hour migrane in over a month! 

At most, I'm still enrolled.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha. 

That's like what? The mole power to the 15th frustration I've had with my university's employees saying they'd put me on a list or would do something for me, and then I find out that nope, I just have to call five different people, print, fill out, and email several pages, track down people, and save my ass again. Because obviously no one keeps records or gets the info processed and into the system. 

Hey, give me access, and I could even do it myself.

Good thing I keep every email. 

This isn't even Argentina, where everything is rightly excused for being "desorden y desorganizado." 

I get it. People make mistakes. 

Too many mistakes. 

Insomyerba

I suppose 'twould be too much to ask for decaffeinated yerba. 

1. Mate is highly caffeinated. 

2. The tea is a diuretic. 

3. A liter before bed was not my brightest of ideas. 

While I wait for the caffeine to wear off and for my bladder to fill, Borges penetrates my semi-lucid insomnia. 

Brazzi, come to my brazos

"You are like a hungry child who is given ravioli to eat. `No' you say, `I want beefsteak!"

Thank you Rossano Brazzi, the most wholisticaly attractive man who ever existed. Gregory Peck, don't worry, you are second in line. 

Fish and weed

My mom said to me as she was walking out the door, "I'm going to go get your sister and go buy the fish and the weed."

Ahahahahahahahaha

As in my sister is buying fish and plants for her fish tank. 

A phrase I once heard in my brain when I was thinking of you

If you are an accessory in all of this: yes, I will burn you too. 

"Those R. C.'s... get them!"

I visited my 97 year old great aunt in the nursing home yesterday. She might be barely kickin,' but she still has some wit and true colors left, even in her "barely there" state of mind. 

They say you should never go along with a confused person because that just adds more confusion, but how could I not go along with my great aunt when she decided that plotting against a race and religion was necessary. The absurdity touched my intrigue. 

All of a sudden, she burst out, "(you) have to watch out for those R. C.'s." 

By the way it was pronounced, I thought she meant "areses." 

And then I realized that R.C. stood for Roman Catholic. 

And then I added "Presbyterians, Lutherans, 7th Day Adventists, Baptists, jihadists...."

With a satisfied look down her nose she scoffed out a meek "we'll have to discuss that at our next meeting." 

I said "of course, I'll organize for each of the groups to be represented, and then we'll arrange the groups and decide which ones will go to heaven, and which ones we will have to obliterate with Guns and Bayonets on the first of next month." 

With that reply, she was satisfied, and we resumed our original conversation about beta fish. 

There was no filter on her remarks steaming from her subconscious. She thought I was ugly. Great, my entire life my great aunt has thought me as an ugly looking child, but wouldn't dare to say so because she had a filter. 

Keep hydrated

Third cup of coffee

Fourth cup of tea

Second cup of spiced tea

Finishing the first liter of Mate

Sorry I never drink water. Winter. Happens. 

Hate mail, my dear neighbors

I am not mad at the lawn care service, however I might send hate mail to my neighbors after their lawn care service began mowing at 7:30am this Saturday morning, like every other Saturday morning. This was the last straw. 

My only day to sleep in, thanks a lot. 

Well then.

I know

you think

I wonder

if you think 

of me. 

Well, that's enough to start off my day.