Moratorium: Ethereal Moment #500

December 21, 1940 was a cold and blustering winter's day in New York City as Ellsworth, still in his youthful years, bounded through the crowded streets. Eating soda bread from the local Irish bakery was a daily routine for Ellsworth, but today was different. Today was the day Artie Shaw's song, Frenesi, had reached number one on the Billboard pop chart, and Ellsworth quite liked the tune. So there we have it, Ellsworth in 1940 bounding down the street with a masterpiece of a song in mind and a loaf of warm bread in hand that would later lead to his imminent death while he was imitating the clarinet's solo in his recently-acquainted song by the soda bread crumbling and dramatically entering his lungs  Had he, in fact, gained more familiarity with the song before he had taken all ambitions and improvised, he would have known that C-sharp was not a note at all, the very imitated note that sent him sputtering; rather, B-flat was the actual note, and that, my friends, would have only led him to a mere hiccup. Still to this day, no one can ever be sure whether the air Clarinet or the soda bread is to blame for Ellsworth's unfortunate death. A tombstone somewhere in New York City reflects this uncertainty by reading "Here lyeth the man who could neither play the air Clarinet nor bite off less than he could chew."

Howard was a year 2009 hipster from somewhere in New York City. He too bounded through the crowded streets. Howard would often be found expanding his inner horizons by sampling foreign foods. In fact, it was well known by his fellow hipsters that Howard had never sampled the same foreign food twice because he was on a quest to find the optimum food for his becoming ethnic routine. The scrumptious aromas of sweet bread poured out of the little run-down Irish bakery, drawing in the mesmerized hipster. Suddenly, a piece of soda bread was shoved into his small hipster mouth, and Miike Snow's song Song For No One played on he little raspy radio. Howard left that small Irish bakery every day until he died, coincidentally, choking on a mouthful of soda bread. Still to this day, everyone knows why Howard died. Simple. The bread was too dry for his little hipster throat. I can't even imagine what would have been the outcome had Howard pretended to exercise his impeccable air Clarinet skills.

So there we have it, Miike Snow stealing tunes from Artie Shaw and bread-related deaths.
Because let's face it, 1. the two songs sound very similar. 2. soda bread surpasses all breads. consume with caution.