armed and alarmed

That moment when the house alarm goes off while everyone is sleeping... and all of the doors are closed and locked. 

Cue Jason Bourne heightened senses mode. 

*quietly grab bowling pin from under bed* 

Phone doesn't have a dial tone. 

*great, we're surrounded* 

Alarm deafens hearing. 

*stealth crawl to a better vantage point because hearing is now impaired* 

Sister walks out, turns on light, shotgun in hand, yells "why is it going off!"

*hold bowling pin above head while slowly rising from behind vantage point, Bowie Knife in other hand* 

Matriarch walks out with Bible and glasses in hand. 

*girls!*

Equally as confused. 

*phone rings*

*we would have been slaughtered by now, but thanks for the courtesy call*