Crackin that quip whip

I can't even remember how many years I've been waiting to employ these two responses to two very specific situations. 

1. The first being: "Well, I asked you second!" 

Someone asked me my name. I didn't quite fancy giving out my name so I tried to deflect the question by asking "what's yours?" to which they exclaimed "I asked you first!" And I proudly proclaimed "well, I asked you second!" 

They were absolutely dumbfounded by this simple and hearty truth. 

Life goal made. 

2. The second being: "Laura no está, Laura se fue, Laura se escapa de mi vida."

Two of my South American friends were speaking in Spanish, trying to figure out where their friend Laura was, to which I heartily interjected the song by Nek "Laura no está," Laura se fue..... 

Second life goal made. 

I am content and at peace with my mind, no longer on edge about when I will utilize these quips I find so internally clever.