I have a habit of being overly ambitious and overly confident sometimes, like when I wore my teddy bear Christmas shirt in October, twice, or like such a time as now, when I went about licking things as usual.
I thought it was crystallized sand - but it turned out to be crystallized battery acid. It did not taste like salt, and did I learn my lesson? Probably not. But I keep telling myself that I've been pepper-sprayed in my own car WHILE I was driving it, so I'll most likely survive whatever unfortunate situation I happen to unfortunately and inevitably create anyways. There is always hope for survival; sometimes the process is just a little more difficult. Hello self-sufficiency.
As I chugged a cup of milk, I realized how much I really wanted some brownies to go with the milk. If you give a mouse a cookie... Apparently battery acid = brownies. I'm down for that.
Take it or leave it, but at least think about it the next time you think you are so brilliant and go around licking things, and make sure that you have a gallon of milk on standby.
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