I hate group projects

I can't even begin to express how vile group projects are. The teacher exclaims, "group projects, how fun!" and I cringe. I dread, and I harvest so much bitterness that I want to ask whoever way back in the beginning thought group projects were ever a good idea.

Obviously we are not going for efficiency.

Is college the "real world?" I think not. Because the only incentives we have to do well besides that great motivation we all have is good grades. And you'd be surprised at how little people contribute to their grades.

To some, grades are not incentive enough.
Hopefully, in the "real world," income will be enough.
Income will drive motivation.

Kudos to those who are simply motivated. Because then, grades and income will be a perk.

When participating in group projects, you always spend more time than necessary picking up the pieces, rewriting everything in third person, and frustratingly trying not to be the damper on the happy day.

Unless, the teacher graded you for your part and your part only. Then all would be well. Group projects wouldn't be stressful at all! But then again, I suppose that that would defeat the purpose of group projects.

Why can't all of the motivated people be in the same group! That way, the project result would be spectacular!

It's like being in elementary school. You are the good kid, and the teacher forces you to sit next to the kid who fools around and is distracting. So what, you-the-good-kid is supposed to impose your good behavior on the other one? Quite the contrary.

So frustrating.
I think I would have applied socialistic methods in this elementary situation. Separation. Survival of the Fittest maybe as well. Just saying.

Efficiency and Quality are rarely simultaneously achieved during group projects.
Hello Real World and Income. Due to Motivation.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate. I'm just frustrated. Yes, I'm a cynic. But what am I supposed to be, thrilled that I have to work so much harder for your good grade? Well, that's what you think, anyways.

Because my life is on the line, and you are imposing this externality on me so that I must oblige.

Group projects: "Oh how fun indeed."